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Self-Sex: Is it Good or Bad?

Women who engage in self-sex have a better understanding of their genital anatomy and can guide their sexual partners in the specific sexual acts that contribute to female orgasm.

8 min read
Self-Sex: Is it Good or Bad?

Self-sex meaning

Self-sex is an activity that involves touching and rubbing parts of your body to arouse yourself and achieve self-pleasure. It is a way of stimulating the genitals or other areas of the body for pleasure. In fact, there are different ways in which females can masturbate. For example, water masturbation. Make sure you choose the one you’re most comfortable with.

Females most commonly engage in self-sex by stroking or rubbing the vulva, especially the clitoris, with fingers until orgasm is reached. As per a study, more women achieve orgasm from self-sex than intercourse. This is because the G-spot in women is hard to find.

Self-sex is a common activity performed by people. An increasing frequency of solo sex has been observed in women with or without a partner. It is also a common activity among menstruating women. As per studies, 58.4% of women reported having a desire for performing self-sex at least twice a week.

Also read: Best sex positions for female orgasm

Self-sex is good for health. The good feelings that come with solo sex secrete hormones in the body like endorphins and serotonin. These hormones block pain and make women feel calmer.

Reasons Why Women Masturbate?

Women masturbate for a variety of reasons. According to a study done by Christin Bowman, PhD, a critical social psychologist, five major things trigger women to do it. They are:

  • For deriving joyful sexual pleasure.
  • To understand their bodies more intimately.
  • As a release from all the stress.
  • Use as a substitute for a partner.
  • Out of general sexual dissatisfaction.

Overall, as per Bowman, with regards to self sex, there is a connection that links sexual pleasure with the keenness of women to know about their bodies. Further, she interprets whether sexual empowerment causes masturbation or does masturbation lead to sexual empowerment as unknown.

Benefits of Self-Sex

Know your body

Women who engage in self-sex have a better understanding of their genital anatomy and can guide their sexual partners in the specific sexual acts that contribute to female orgasm. It will help the partner learn how many strokes can satisfy a woman.

Boost your emotional health

As per studies, self-sex triggers the release of hormones and chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, prolactin, and adrenaline. These hormones are also called happy hormones. They reduce stress and anxiety and improve the mood of a person. As per studies, the most important reward pathway in the brain is the dopamine system. And, ladies hand sex helps in the better secretion of dopamine hormones.

Safest form of sex

There is no chance of getting sexually transmitted diseases when you touch your genitals. Sexually transmitted infections and diseases can cause infertility. However, do ensure that your hands are clean to avoid other forms of infection during solo sex. You can also learn how to use a vibrator along with solo sex to enhance your sexual experience further.

Improve your sexual relationships

As per studies, solo sex improves sexual health and relationships. Self-pleasuring activities permit women to explore their bodies. It ultimately helps a person in guiding their partner during intercourse more confidently. It helps in significantly improving sexual relationships.

Increase libido

Self-pleasuring activities in women increase the secretion of the estradiol hormone that ultimately helps in improving sexual desire. Elevated estradiol levels help in countering the effects of a low level of libido.

Improved Self-esteem

As per studies, female self-sex during puberty and adolescence is linked to a good self-image and favourable sexual encounters later in life. Self-sex is a healthy and integral part of normal female sexual development.

How to Get Started?

Masturbation with oneself is considered a more controlled form of sex. To understand masturbation and how to have self-control sexually, you must give time to understand your body. Here are a few tips that can help enhance your self sex experience:

1. Mood Setting

Mood-setting can make a difference. Turning down the lights, putting on good music, or even lighting up candles are a few things that can lift the mood.

2. Lubrication

A quality lubricant can enhance arousal lubrication. Lube can help with smooth stimulation for maximum pleasure.

3. Stoking the Imagination

To feel aroused and get self sex started, use imagination and fantasise about an exciting situation with your partner or someone you find attractive.

4. Don’t Worry or Be in a Hurry

Avoid rushing into masturbation. Take your time truly to enjoy every sensation in the body while masturbating to enjoy it to the fullest.

5. Explore Erogenous Zones

Think about erogenous areas in your body such as ears, thighs or any part that you find attractive to spark the feeling of pleasure within to enjoy masturbation.

6. Self-Stimulate

Although there are sex toys such as dildos, vibrators, etc., self-stimulation with fingers also provides good self sex arousal.

6. Watch or Read Pornography

One of the dirty things to do to yourself when you’re alone to masturbate is watching or reading a pornographic film or book. This helps you to not rely on imagination every time you need self sex stimulation.

How Do Women Masturbate?

Want to know how it feels to masturbate but don’t know how to have self-control sexually? Read on to understand how women masturbate.

1. Understand Your Genitalia

Before masturbating, you must understand parts of your sex organs. Primarily, these include the vulva, clitoris, and vagina.

2. Use Your Fingers

There are many types of vibrators and dildos available, especially online, that could be perfect for masturbation. However, one can also go the organic way by using your fingers for self sex.

3. Get to Know Your Clitoris

Clitoris is a nerve-rich part of the vulva containing as many as 8,000 nerve endings. Twice as many are seen in the male penis. By focusing on this region, you can gain maximum pleasure. This erogenous area in the female genitalia can make you feel good and spread this feeling to the 15,000 nerves in the pelvis. Simply stroking it can do the work for many.

4. Avoid Thinking of Orgasm

It is necessary to engage in foreplay to enjoy complete self sex satisfaction. By indulging in it rather than focusing on the orgasm, you will build a healthy relationship with your body. In other words, it is the journey and not arriving at the destination that needs to be enjoyed.

Masturbation Tips for Women:

Here are a few tips that you must keep in mind if you want it to turn out well.

  • Gently use your fingers to stimulate your clitoris.
  • Insert sex toys softly into the vagina.
  • Develop fantasies and use them to stimulate self sex.
  • Use whatever form of erotica that helps stimulate the imagination.
  • Understand your body.
  • Keep your urogenital organs clean to avoid acquiring urinary tract infections.

Can Women Masturbate?

Yes, women can, and there are many physical and mental benefits to it.

1. Improvement in Blood Circulation

When you perform masturbation, your blood flow gets stimulated. It helps circulate vital nutrients in the body and provides adequate nutrition to all the organs.

2. Regulation of the Reproductive System

Masturbation also helps regulate your hypothalamus gland. It is a centre that controls everything from your appetite to your emotions. It also regulates hormones in the body, which means it helps maintain the process of ovulation.

3. Immunity Support

Studies show that when you perform the act of masturbation, it helps increase the amount of infection-fighting cells in your body.

Types of Masturbation

There are different types of masturbation depending on what you choose to use to experience self sex.

1. Vibration Masturbation

If you want to pleasure yourself, then all you need is to use your fingers to enjoy a non-partner-derived orgasm eventually.

2. Self-watching Masturbation

According to many sex experts, watching yourself masturbate could turn you on further. Therefore, if you have a mirror in the bathroom or any other private space, it is time to use it.

3. Sex Toy Masturbation

Masturbating using sex toys is commonly used, especially since it is widely available. It is very effective in producing sexual stimulation.

4. Masturbation to the Sound of Music

Believe it or not, even the sound of good music can set your mood for self sex. While listening to a musical composition can take time to generate a sensation.

5. Massage Masturbation

A good massage using essential oils such as lavender and jasmine hasten the process of masturbation. The only thing you need to know about your body is the massage points that stimulate you.

Masturbation Positions for Women:

If you are looking for masturbation positions for women, then read on.

1. Opening Up Style

In this position, you have to sit on a chair and place your feet and ankles around the legs of the chair. Positioning like this may help you experience some intense sensations.

2. Over-The-Hump-Style

It involves lying down in the bed on your stomach and supporting the hip with a pillow. Then use your hands, sex toy, or both to masturbate. The result is that the pillows will allow your hips to angle up to create new sensations of pleasure.

3. Single Snake Style

This position requires you to lie on your stomach and ensure that your clitoris and pelvic bone grind against your hand or vibrating toy that is placed beneath. The friction applied to the hood of the clitoris by the bodyweight generates the incredible feeling of pleasure derived from great self sex.

Disadvantages of Self-Sex

Solo sex guilt

Some women may feel guilty about their self-pleasuring activities. The prohibition of self-sex in religions and culture leads one to feel guilty about such activities. Self-sex is neither wrong nor immoral.

Excessive self-sex can affect sexual life

Higher frequency of girls self-sex can cause damage to the vaginal lining if rough objects are used to produce stimulation. Solo sex daily can be excessive for many women. It can affect their energy levels and cause stress for them if they don’t orgasm during partner sex. Satisfying orgasm during partner sex can be a benefit of not masturbating excessively for women.

Disrupting daily life

If one indulges in self-pleasure activities more than they desire, it can affect their attention to responsibilities, social life and disrupt daily life. One should talk to a counsellor or therapist to help them cope through strategies to reduce excessive self-pleasuring activities.

Also read: Can I get pregnant if sperm touches the outside?

Can Female Masturbation Cause Infertility?

No, self-sex activities cannot impact the egg cells. It does not cause infertility. Fertility is important for a woman who wants to get pregnant. Solo sex is a self-pleasure activity and helps to achieve orgasm. It cannot affect the fertilisation process of an egg. Women often ask us about the effect of female masturbation on ovulation, pregnancy or infertility. I hope this has cleared your doubts.

Self-sex is a healthy and safe way of achieving self-pleasure. Self-sex may have many advantages, but masturbation addiction can be harmful to natural sexual arousal. Solo sex addiction can affect sexual intimacy with your partner. If too much solo sex is a problem for you, or if it is causing sexual dysfunction, consult a gynaecologist near you.  

Otherwise, self-sex is perfectly normal, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. According to medical science, self-sex aids stress release and makes a person happier and healthier.

Summing Up on Self Sex

And so, masturbation or self sex is a self-love method. The procedure will help you understand your body and its needs. All you need to do is let yourself loose, set the mood, hone your imagination and choose any style that works for you. There is no perfect way. Experimenting is the key to better self sex arousal.


Christine E Kaestle, Katherine R Allen, 2011. The role of masturbation in healthy sexual development: perceptions of young adults. (National Library of Medicine) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21293916/

H. Ümit Sayin, 2019. Getting High on Dopamine: Neuroscientific Aspects of Pleasure. (SexuS Journal) https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Umit-Sayin/publication/333617480_Sayin_HU_Pleasure-High-on-Dopamine_A_Multidisciplinary_Academic_Journal_Published_Quarterly_by_CISEATED-ASEHERT_www_SAYIN_HU_Getting_High_on_Dopamine_Pleasure_SexuS_Journal_4_11_883-906_MARCH_Part-1_G/links/5cf732ef299bf1fb18597e6c/Sayin-HUe-Pleasure-High-on-Dopamine-A-Multidisciplinary-Academic-Journal-Published-Quarterly-by-CISEATED-ASEHERT-www-SAYIN-HUe-Getting-High-on-Dopamine-Pleasure-SexuS-Journal-4-11-883-906-MARCH-Pa.pdf

John F. Randolph, Jr, Huiyong Zheng, 2014. Masturbation Frequency and Sexual Function Domains Are Associated With Serum Reproductive Hormone Levels Across the Menopausal Transition. (The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism)


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