Marriage is built on several pillars that serve as the foundation for this institution of love. Some of the many essentials that make a good marriage include loyalty, trust, affection, attention, care, love and sexual compatibility.
However, is one factor or requirement above others? Can a marriage survive on only love or just sexual intimacy? Sex is definitely an important part of a marriage and plays a crucial role in developing a bond that connects the soul. But is marriage all about sex? Let's find out the answer.
Is Marriage all about Sex?
Let’s answer the big question now, is marriage all about sex? No, marriage is definitely not all or only about sex. However, that being said, sexual intimacy plays a significant role in maintaining, strengthening, and keeping the bond between partners alive and flourishing. There is no denying that sex is an important factor that helps a relationship bloom. Sex provides innumerable health benefits and helps a couple build a healthy connection.
Benefits of Sex in Marriage
There are several ways through which sex can help you build a deeper bond with your spouse. Here are some of them:
1. It Increases Intimacy With Your Partner
Lack of intimacy, physical or emotional, between you and your partner can severely deteriorate the nature of your relationship. Sex is easily one of the best ways to bridge that gap and bring back the excitement of your relationship. It can spark passion between you and your partner, helping you put your problems on the back burner while you focus on the closeness between you and your spouse.
2. Helps in the Longevity of a Relationship
In the initial days of a relationship, sex is all about passion and excitement. In most relationships, displays of love and attraction are at their peak during the “honeymoon phase”.
In the later stages of a relationship, sex helps ensure longevity by being a way of showering affection and giving attention to your partner. It provides a modicum to communicate your feelings without words.
3. Reduces Tension
It is quite normal for a couple to be exhausted after a long day at work. As a marriage grows, various problems can seep through your bond. That is why a good work-life balance is crucial between partners. One way of doing so is maintaining sexual intimacy between you and your spouse. It will help you enjoy the time with your partner and relax your nerves as you leave your worries outside the bedroom.
4. Nurturing an Emotional Connection
Sex is not only about passion and physical needs. It also helps in building an emotional connection with your partner. It allows you to connect with them at a more primal level of emotions, as it enables you and your partner to be vulnerable with each other in ways that may not be possible otherwise. This further strengthens your bond.
5. Helps You Focus on the Relationship
As everyday life sets in, marriage can sometimes become monotonous. This may, at times, encourage people to look for other ways outside the marriage to bring the lost excitement back into their lives. An unhealthy sex life often plays a major role in this. Hence, it is important to listen to your partner's needs and engage in sex that satisfies both of your needs.
Things Nobody Tells You About Sex After Marriage
Here are some things that you should know about sex after marriage:
1. Reduced Frequency of Sex
It is quite normal for the frequency of sex to reduce between you and your spouse. As you advance towards different phases in life, your responsibilities increase proportionately. It is commonly seen that the frequency of sex decreases as a relationship grows older. But this does not mean that your relationship has lost its charm. Like it's said, lust can be temporary, but love is permanent.
2. Unrealistic Expectations Promoted by Media
It is important to understand that the kind of intimacy and love showed in reel life does not always translate into real life. It is imperative to have realistic expectations about sex and understand that there is a high chance sex and intimacy may not turn out to be the way they are showcased in romantic movies and novels.
How To Have Great Sex After Marriage?
1. Plan it out
Marriage is definitely not like dating. There are responsibilities and duties. Your familial and work life needs to be balanced and on top of that you have to make time for sex. If you want to have sex in a marriage, you have to plan it.
It may sound ironic that something racy like sex must be planned but it is how you react to the situation. When you know both you and your partner have free time, surprise them with a naughty gesture to turn them on. Believe it or not, even planned sex can be exciting!
It is not just sex, but the conversation around sex that is critical too. Understanding and being receptive to your partner’s needs in bed and vice versa is the key to a healthy sex life.
It is not necessary that you both are on the same page. It is necessary that your partner and you are well aware of each others’ pages and you can work at it from there.
3. Learning the love languages
There are predominantly 5 love languages that people use to express their love to significant others. These are:
- Gift giving
- Physical touch
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
Run a basic google search and take the love language quiz with your partner. Once your both have determined your love language, begin to translate that into your everyday life. Putting effort into a relationship also leads to security and security is sexy.
4. Quit the comparison
Comparing your sex life to the couple you both go to the gym with is pointless. Comparison inevitable harbours feelings of insecurity and this is not good for your sex life. Determine the kind of sex you want to have according to your needs, and not those of others.
5. Spice it up
There are a million ways to make sure your sex life never gets boring. Trying new sexual positions, putting into effects sexy bedroom ideas, purchase sex toys and have sex in different places of the house like the shower- we could go on and on!
Always remember that the sex drive of you and your partner will keep ebbing and flowing with both time and age. The point of being in a marriage is to converse and grow through these changes together with a sense of companionship. Also, natural ayurvedic medicines for female sexual health are also worth a try!
So, is marriage all about sex? No. However, Sex plays an important role in maintaining the sanctity of marriage and helps grow the emotional bond between you and your partner. Not only does it help keep the passion alive, but it also plays an essential role in communication between spouses.
Tayebe Ziaee, Yadollah Jannati (2014) The Relationship between Marital and Sexual Satisfaction among Married Women Employees at Golestan University of Medical Sciences, Iran (U.S. National Library of Medicine) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4105603/