How many times have you heard that sex before marriage is a sin? Even from your mother sometimes? In this blog, we choose to debunk myths associated with sex and marriage. It is no secret that there is an immense social stigma around this topic. Read on to know the truth about whether sex before marriage is a sin, can you dirty talk before marriage, if marriage is all about sex, and much much more.
Is Sex Before Marriage a Sin?
No, sex before marriage is not a sin.
All religions have their perspective on how they view premarital sex. For instance, Christianity makes it abundantly clear that sex before marriage is not okay, while Hinduism takes a vague stance open to interpretation.
Irrespective of the religion you subscribe to, you should know that opinions on sex are based on many aspects. A big part of this is patriarchy and the want to control women and their access to pleasure.
This Global Sisters Report talks more about the power of religion over women in India.
Is Sex Before Marriage Good or Bad?
Sex, inherently, is not evil or immoral. In fact, when you indulge in sex willingly, no sex is bad.
As a sexual being, you decide how you wish to practice sex in your life. This extends to your rules and personal boundaries. You are entitled to all of these, as is everyone else. You get to choose whether to have sex before marriage or after. None of these choices is incorrect or immoral.
Choosing to have sex after marriage is an entirely acceptable decision but should not be considered a sign of superiority over those who have had sex before marriage and vice versa.
Can You Sex Talk Before Marriage?
Yes, if you feel comfortable doing so and are enjoying it.
Like any sexual activity, sex talking or sexting is entirely acceptable as long as you don't feel pressured into it or violated by it.
It can be a fun experience. It is less intimidating than getting physically intimate, and it can help you understand your own body and your partner's. Feel free to explore your sexuality during this time and always be open to communication and conversation.
However, make sure your privacy is ensured before sending explicit texts, audios, images, or videos. Only share these with partners you trust will keep it to themselves and not pass it on without your consent.
Also read: Is it healthy to eat sperm?
Can You Talk About Sex Before Marriage?
Yes. You must.
A basic level of sexual compatibility is the foundation for both partners in every relationship. Whether you are having sex with your potential partner or waiting until marriage, it is essential to talk to them about sex before tying the knot.
Problems of the bedroom tend to flow into other aspects of a couple's wellbeing. You can start by having an easy conversation with your partner about hypothetical situations and see if your responses are compatible.
This article by CNN goes in-depth regarding this topic.
What are the Disadvantages of Sex Before Marriage?
- It brings with itself the disapproval of traditionally orthodox or conservative individuals in your life. This could include but is not limited to family, friends, and society in general.
- When you make a biased or emotionally fueled choice while choosing a life partner. Make sure sexual encounters with the person alone do not drive this choice. This could be one of the psychological effects of sex before marriage.
- Risks of unprotected sex like STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Marriage won't save you from these, either. Only protection will.
How to Avoid Sex Before Marriage?
There is only one way to be in romantic relationships before marriage and avoid sex. That is through clear communication. Make your choice regarding abstinence clear to your partner early on in your relationship- ideally, before getting involved romantically.
If the person cannot respect your consent, or their lifestyle doesn't align with your choices, they may not be suitable for you.
Even then, the best route is to keep an open mind and have a chat.
Is Sex Important in a Relationship Before Marriage?
If that is what both parties in a relationship desire, having sex before marriage does have its advantages:
- You get to discover yourself and your sexuality, what gives you pleasure, and how you enjoy giving it to your partner.
- If you plan on marrying eventually, sex before marriage can also help you identify sexual compatibility with your partner. This can become more difficult after marriage.
Is Marriage All About Sex?
No, marriage is not all about sex. However, sex and marriage do affect one another.
Sexual compatibility can improve how you feel about your partner in general. It can influence your problem-solving behavior and enable you to feel optimistic about your relationship.
At the same time, the lack of good sex or no sex at all in a marriage manifests its effects in other ways.
What is the Importance of Sex in Marriage and Benefits Of Sex In Marriage?
- Increases intimacy and brings excitement and intensity.
- It helps reduce day-to-day stress.
- It motivates you to take good care of yourself.
- Nurtures a well-rounded bond that is physical and emotional.
Also read: Does breast kissing cause pregnancy?
How Important is Marriage First Night Sex?
First night sex is not mandatory. Just like for any other day, the consent remains foremost.
Indian marriages are long and exhausting, and if you do not feel like having sex at the end of it, tell your partner that.
Instead, you could have your first time the morning after or whenever you two have recovered from the fatigue. Either way, it will be an experience to cherish.
Did you know? That 95% of males orgasm every single time during sex compared to a meagre 65% of women? This phenomenon is called the orgasm gap. Make sure to try these best sex positions for a female orgasm.
What are the Effects of Lack of Sex in Marriage?
- Misunderstandings.
- Low self-esteem.
- Feeling isolated.
- Resentment towards partner.
- Doubts about the marriage.
Also read: Why is My Private Area Dark? | How to Lighten Dark Private Parts
Does Sex Stop After Marriage?
No, sex does not stop after marriage. There may be phases of low libido as female and male sex drive decrease with age. But if an attempt is made from both sides, you can have a sexually fulfilling marriage in the long term. Sex can sometimes be painful for women who have had conditions like UTI or Cystisis. Try these best sex positions to reduce the risk of UTI and Cystisis.
What is Sex Anxiety In Marriage?
Sex anxiety is the feeling of being distracted by obsessive thoughts in bed. It causes difficulty in sexual arousal, enjoying sex, and even reaching orgasm. Research has shown that 6-16% of women suffer from sexual anxiety. However, there is no diagnosis for it, and research for treatment has been minimal.
If you are married, you will likely face pressure to conceive. If this is true, it is likely you may be pressured into birthing a male child. This may cause sex anxiety as well. You can read about how to conceive a baby boy- the myths and facts nobody tells you. Moreover, there are also ways to confirm whether sperm went inside you to ensure you get pregnant.
Conclusion
Have you ever heard of the phrase, it takes two to tango? Keeping your needs first when it comes to sex and marriage is paramount. After which, your partner's needs must be considered. Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable physically or emotionally. Whether you are married or not.
References
- Nicola Finley, November 2017; Lifestyle Choices Can Augment Female Sexual Well-Being - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1559827617740823
- Ian Kerner, January 2013; Why you should talk about sex before marriage - https://edition.cnn.com/2013/01/24/health/sex-compatibility/index.html
- Virginia Saldanha, November 2016; The power of religion over women in India - https://www.globalsistersreport.org/column/equality/power-religion-over-women-india-43236
