Couples, especially women, go through a lot of stress and trauma after a miscarriage. A miscarriage drains you and your partner, both physically and emotionally.
As per a study, 30% of couples experience negative changes in interpersonal and sexual relationships. It also reported that partners who developed a closer relationship after a miscarriage are more emotionally balanced and recover faster.
After a miscarriage, sex is probably the last thing on your mind. But sex is more than just physical intimacy; it is also about vulnerability and acceptance.
In this article, we explore how you can tackle your emotions after a miscarriage and also talk about when is it safe to have sex after miscarriage, if sex after a miscarriage is painful, factors which determine how long you should wait for sex after miscarriage, risks of sex after miscarriage, when and how to get pregnant after a miscarriage with some pro tips, and when to visit a doctor.
Learning to Deal With Your Emotions After a Miscarriage
For a woman who has had a miscarriage, dealing with physical changes, emotional disturbances, and intense emotions such as isolation, grief, despair, anxiety, guilt, and hopelessness is not easy. It may lead to her distancing herself from her partner. To have an interpersonal and sexual relationship as it was before the miscarriage or even closer, you must learn to deal with your emotions. Here are a few tips for dealing with your feelings after a miscarriage:
1. You Are NOT Alone
As per research, 10-15% of women undergo miscarriage worldwide. In India, the miscarriage rate is 10%; but the prevalence of miscarriage is about 32%. So, you need to know that you are not alone, and miscarriages are more common than you think. Acceptance of this fact can lower your guilt and anxiousness.
2. Stop Blaming Yourself
A miscarriage is mainly due to genetic abnormalities. Exercise, work during pregnancy, or sex at the time of pregnancy do not lead to a miscarriage. Still, many women blame themselves for the traumatic event. Stop blaming yourself for the miscarriage.
3. Yoga to Balance the Hormones
Hormonal imbalance is common after a miscarriage. This may cause emotional feelings to rush your mind and heart, leaving you anxious and overwhelmed. Yoga is a great way to balance the hormones, calm your mind, and control your emotions.
4. Join a Support Group
A support group comprises women who have been through or are going through the same experiences as you are after a miscarriage. Talking to them and sharing your feelings with them can be reassuring. It will help you to heal and overcome your miscarriage faster.
5. Consult an Expert
Talking to a mental health counsellor, psychologist, or therapist can be of great help. You can feel much better after sharing your emotions and feelings with your therapist. They may also give you exercises to manage your emotions better. Do not hesitate to consult them if you have trouble doing routine work and activities.
6. Get Close to your Partner
As per research, the women who came closer to their partner showed less emotional grief and healed quickly from the loss. Share your feelings with your partner and let them know what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Share all the emotions you have hidden inside of you. Miscommunication is the arch-nemesis of a good relationship.
7. Do not worry about the Future
As per a study, recurrent miscarriages are uncommon. The prevalence of second-time miscarriage is lower than the first miscarriage. As per studies, women who suffer miscarriages have healthy pregnancies later in life. Therefore, you need not worry and be positive and happy. Worrying about the future will add to the stress and may ruin your health, which is not good.
When is it Safe to have Sex after a Miscarriage?
It is safe to have sex after 4-6 weeks of miscarriage when normal menstruation following a miscarriage begins. However, the safety of sex after miscarriage depends on the physical and emotional status of both partners, especially women.
Can I have sex after miscarriage? Can I have sex three days after miscarriage? These are among the most commonly searched questions on the internet. Doctors and gynaecologists recommend sex only after 2-4 weeks of a miscarriage if no symptoms of vaginal bleeding, foul odour, or discharge are present. This is because, after a miscarriage, there is an increased risk of infection.
It is important to have mental peace and emotional balance before having sex after miscarriage. If you are emotionally and physically ready for sex after the required time, talk to your partner about it. Consent of both parties is essential to have safe and healthy sex. Therefore, it is better to wait for 4-6 weeks to heal physically and be in a better place psychologically before having sex after miscarriage.
Is Sex After Miscarriage Painful?
Sex after miscarriage may be painful. You must wait for at least 2-4 weeks before having sex after miscarriage. It is advised not to have sex before 4-6 weeks of miscarriage. Waiting time is crucial for the infection to heal and the hormonal imbalance to become stable.
Miscarriage leads to uterus contraction that causes pain similar to pain during periods. It is crucial to know that pain and cramping may occur a few days following a miscarriage. The pain and cramping may subsequently reduce and go away. However, pain may worsen if any infection is present. You must consult your doctor when you notice the symptoms of infection, such as fever, chills, and foul vaginal discharge.
Additional Factors that determine Wait Time
1. Prolonged Vaginal Bleeding
Vaginal bleeding may occur after miscarriage as the body tries to clean the uterus to prevent infection. It may prolong your waiting time to have sex after miscarriage.
2. Additional Treatments
A miscarriage can be simple or complex. Complex miscarriages may require additional treatment sessions, prolonging your wait to have sex after miscarriage.
3. Psychological Recovery
You might be still recovering from the emotional trauma. While physical recovery may take less time, psychological distress can affect your daily activities and sexual desires. Due to emotional health being impacted negatively, you may suffer from low sex drive after miscarriage. As per research, miscarriage has a significant effect on the mental health of both partners, especially women, leading to nightmares and suicidal thoughts.
4. Early Miscarriage Vs. Late Miscarriage
Early miscarriage may resolve quickly on its own without many complexities. However, late miscarriage (miscarriage in the second or third trimester) may cause complexities and delay the healing period.
5. Ectopic pregnancy
Miscarriage of an abnormal pregnancy outside the uterus (ectopic pregnancy) may delay the healing process and prolong the treatment time.
You must consult your doctor before deciding to have sex after miscarriage. How soon can you have protected sex after a miscarriage will vary based on your physical, mental, and sexual health status.
Risks of Sex Soon After Miscarriage
1. Risk of Infection
After a miscarriage, the cervix is open more than normal, increasing the risk of infection. Symptoms of infection after miscarriage are fever, chills, and foul-smelling vaginal discharge. To avoid infection after miscarriage, gynaecologists suggest having sex or any penetration in the vagina after 2-3 weeks of miscarriage.
2. Complications
If your doctor has advised waiting for a certain time before having sex after miscarriage, it is crucial to follow the advice to prevent any complications. Sex soon after miscarriage may complicate the miscarriage with infections and bleeding.
If You Aren't Ready to Be Intimate
A miscarriage can make you and your partner emotionally unstable. You must take your time to heal and recover. The recovery time may vary depending on the experienced trauma and received therapy.
The hormonal imbalances after miscarriage may lower your sex drive, making you uninterested in sex. Communication between you and your partner is crucial. Talk freely with your partner regarding sex after miscarriage and explain the reasons for you not wanting to have sex.
Not being ready to be intimate after miscarriage is normal, and your partner should respect your feelings. It is also important that you let your partner express their feelings about sex after miscarriage.
When Can You Try for Another Pregnancy?
It is safe to have sex and try for another pregnancy after 4-6 weeks of miscarriage, when normal menstruation has resumed. Once the menstrual bleeding stops, the fertile period begins, and there is an increased chance of conception. However, the safety of having sex and being pregnant after miscarriage depends on the physical and emotional status of both partners, especially women.
Hence, doctors and gynaecologists recommend you must wait for at least 1 month after a miscarriage. It is important to have mental peace and emotional balance before you get ready for pregnancy after miscarriage.
It is recommended to consult your doctor before deciding to become pregnant after a miscarriage. Sex and time of pregnancy after miscarriage will vary based on the individual's physical, mental, and sexual health status.
If the medical examination has identified some underlying causes for miscarriage, it is important to address those conditions before planning second pregnancy.
Tips for Getting Pregnant Post a Miscarriage
1. Prenatal Vitamins
Prenatal vitamins such as folic acid may help in preparing you for a healthy pregnancy. You must start taking them 1 month before you plan to become pregnant and on a doctor’s advice.
2. Ensure Complete Physical and Psychological Recovery
Follow your doctor's advice and proper diet to recover physically. Do not hesitate to consult a therapist or a mental health counsellor for speedy psychological recovery. Plan a pregnancy only when you have completely recovered both physically and mentally.
3. Healthy Diet and Regular Exercise
Normal meals containing basic macronutrients will not help in speedy recovery. Fruits and vegetables in sufficient quantity along with the meals will make your body stronger and prepare you for the second pregnancy.
4. Avoid Alcohol and Smoking
As per research, alcohol consumption significantly contributes to an increased risk of miscarriages in women. You must avoid smoking and alcohol for an overall healthy pregnancy.
5. Yoga for Relaxing and De-stressing
As per a study, stress reduces immunity and significantly increases the risk of miscarriages. Yoga can help you relax and de-stress. Yoga also strengthens the uterus and reproductive organs, preparing you for a safe and healthy pregnancy.
6. Follow Your Doctor’s Instructions
If your doctor has advised waiting for a certain time before having sex after miscarriage, it is crucial to follow the advice to prevent any complications. Sex soon after miscarriage may complicate the miscarriage with infections and bleeding.
7. Active Sex Life
As per several studies, being sexually active and having sex at least three times a week may help regulate your sexual hormones and lead to a healthy pregnancy.
You must consult your doctor before planning pregnancy again after the miscarriage. Your doctor will give proper instructions based on your overall physical, mental, and social health.
When to See a Doctor
It is normal to experience pain and cramping for a few days after the miscarriage. If the pain and discomfort worsen, consult your doctor.
Other reasons to consult your doctor:
- Heavy vaginal bleeding
- Vaginal discharge that has a foul odour
- Persistent high fever even after taking medications
- Itching and burning sensation in the vaginal area
Ignoring your mental health can be detrimental in the long run. Psychological distress can affect your daily activities and sexual desires. Due to the negative impact on emotional health after miscarriage, you may suffer from a low sex drive after miscarriage. As per research, a miscarriage may cause nightmares, frightening flashbacks of the traumatic incident, and even suicidal thoughts in both partners, especially women. You must consult an expert such as a therapist or counsellor for mental health sessions for speedy psychological recovery.
Summary
Miscarriage is a common health condition with a prevalence of over 15-20% worldwide. It does not just affect your physical health; mental health is also significantly impacted.
Hormonal imbalances may lower your sex drive, and you might find it difficult to have sex after miscarriage. It is crucial to communicate with your partner openly and express your feelings without any hesitation.
A miscarriage can be physically and mentally draining. It is essential to have a proper diet with lots of fruits and green leafy vegetables. Folic acid supplementation is a must to make you stronger for a healthy second pregnancy. Yoga and daily exercise improve blood circulation to the reproductive organs, making them stronger.
Miscarriage should not demotivate you from planning second pregnancy. Follow the instructions of your doctor. Get close to your loved ones and therapist for emotional support and a better outcome.
References
- Ameet Patki and Naveen Chauhan, October 2016; An Epidemiology Study to Determine the Prevalence and Risk Factors Associated with Recurrent Spontaneous Miscarriage in India - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4958068
- Millspaugh, Elaine Xie, Xiaolin; The psychosocial effects of miscarriage: Implications for health professionals - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1997-43125-002
